I am terrible at ending things.

Alright, so I just tried to leave a comment on a post that Allie posted on Hyperbole and a Half, her blog.
(I say "Allie" like I know her, when in reality I don't know her, I just wish I did because she is awesome.)
(...that sounds creepy, doesn't it.)
(I'm a bad judge of creepiness. anyway...)

The problem is that whenever I try to leave a comment on something or I try to email someone or ESPECIALLY if I try to leave someone a voice mail, I can never end it.

I don't know why this happens. It's like, once I get the courage to actually call the person back, I deflate. I get all agitated over making the phone call and try and pump myself up so I can successfully deal with the social interaction that is about to take place, and then when it doesn't happen, I get flustered and lose steam rapidly. Then, by the time I realize I have to leave a message, I have forgotten what I initially called them about, so all of my messages start out with "Hi! Um...this is Caitlin, uh...you called me earlier, and...um, I just wanted to know what that was about...so if you could, uh...give me, um, a call back? That would be great! So, um...OH My number is 000-0000, and yeah, just call me back when you get the chance...or you could, um...text me, if I don't answer, even though I should answer because I'm usually never busy, except for today, when you called me, I was busy then, which is why I didn't answer my phone when you called, so...yeah, just call me back and let me know what's up. Um...thank you! Sorry I didn't answer your call...umm...I'll talk to you later! Bye!"

My messages are always a million minutes long.
okay, so they're more like 3 minutes long.
but it feels like a million when you're the person on the receiving end of that rubbish.

As for comments/emails, most of those that I send are okay, it's only when I get to the hero-worship comments/emails that I run into difficulties.

My brain has created a paradox when it comes to those sorts of things.
See, I really really want to email someone and let them know how much I loved whatever they created (blog/webcomic/book, etc). So then I do.
But as much as I want to tell them how wonderful their product was, I don't want to completely fangirl out of control and seem like I'm a crazy person, because while I am crazy, it isn't polite to show your craziness in public. Sort of like genitals.

In an effort to balance out the crazy while still accurately portraying my love for whatever thing the person created, I end up writing bipolar things that switch off between completely bat-shit insane and semi-normal.
I'll be like "OMG I FUCKING LOVE YOUR BLOG, and I really appreciate it because I can relate to a lot of your posts, like that one about your dog that was FUCKING AMAZING AND I LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY AT EVERY WORD YOU WROTE, while still appreciating the predicament you were in..."

and so on and so forth.

Because I want the person to know that they're appreciated, but I don't want to seem crazy/creepy/insane, or even worse, stupid.
I don't want these people to think I'm just some stupid girl who doesn't think ever and just likes things on the internet because everyone else does. I want to prove that I've thought about my decision to be obsessed with their webcomic/blog/book and that I don't just throw my affection around. I don't know if that matters to the people I'm writing to, but its really important to me that people know that I'm careful with the things I fall in love with, because to me that gives the love I do feel more credibility.
Does that make sense?
I'll assume it does and move on.

Anyway, because part of me wants to go fangirl crazyx10 and part of me wants to have an intelligent conversation, I bounce back and forth, trying to keep a balance.
So when I try to end the comment, I'm never sure which part of me got more air-time, because if it isn't even, I'll either seem like a snob or a crackwhore, and I don't like either of those ideas.

Irony of the Day: I fell asleep while typing this post...therefore not ending it until a day later.

Also...I don't know how to end this post.

You should hear my phone messages. I leave messages on Ben's phone sometimes and I ramble for like 5 minutes. It's ridiculous.

And...so...yeah.
Umm...I'm going to go post something else now.
Yes? Yes. Yes I am.

PS: If I misspelled anything, I apologize. I was literally half asleep when I wrote the first part of this, and while I did read over it and tried to remedy any spelling mishaps, I'm sure I missed at least one.